Asking for Wedding Gifts -
How to do it without causing offence
Asking for gifts when sending out your wedding invitation can be an awkward subject, and one that always gives good cause for a good discussion for those who experience one of our wedding stationery consultations.
The days of asking for gifts to help you set up home are gone, because life just isn't like that any more.
People live together - usually for years - before taking the plunge and saying 'I Do', so the need to ask for a new toaster or kettle just isn't there any more.
According to a 2014 survey of 2,500 brides conducted by Confetti.com, nearly four-fifths of people marrying that year asked for a financial contribution, and this figure has only risen in recent years.
As a culture, us Brits don't like asking for help or monetary contributions in any way, and this is only enhanced when it comes to a wedding day. Many will find it crass and rude to do so on a wedding invitation. However, the majority of guests coming to your wedding will welcome advice on what you would like to mark your occasion, so if it helps, think of it as doing them a favour!
Interestingly in many other cultures, including Greece, India and parts of the Middle East, it would be considered rude not to gift money at a wedding.
If you simply can't bring yourself to ask your guests for a gift, then just leave any mention of it off your information card, or take a look at the poem at the bottom of the page about 'no gifts required'.
However, if you've got something in mind and want a polite way of asking, take a look at our suggestions below.
Asking for Money or Vouchers
The vast majority of couples we have seen over the years have asked for money. Sometimes, it can make it more 'acceptable' if you're asking for donations towards something specific; for example, home improvements or a honeymoon. So, here are our pick of poems to tackle the question of cash.
It is your presence at our wedding which means more than your presents. However, if you wish to mark the occasion with a gift, a monetary donation would be gratefully accepted.
We’ve been together for a couple of years now;
We have pots and pans and linen and towels;
We have glasses and toasters, really quite a few;
So instead of more gifts, we suggest this to you;
If it doesn’t offend and it won’t send you running;
What we would really appreciate is quite simply money;
We know choosing gifts can be such a pain;
And this way there is no chance of bringing the same!
We have lived together a while now,
And we have all that we need,
So we haven’t got a gift list,
For you to sit and read.
Money or Vouchers,
Would be appreciated in every way,
And the joy of your presence,
To share our special day.
No Gifts for Bride & Groom
As their nest is nearly complete
But Money or Vouchers
Would be quite sweet!
Our life together has already begun
And we have almost everything under the sun
The most important thing to say
Is that you celebrate with us on our special day
But if you are thinking of giving a gift to help us on our way
Money or vouchers, would really make our day.
We haven’t got a gift list, for all of you to see,
Because as you all know we never can agree!
But if you’d like to help us, start our married life,
Cash or high street vouchers, would save a lot of strife
We have been together for a while, and we have a lovely home.
There aren’t too many things, that we don’t already own.
So please don’t be offended, and please don’t think were brash.
But if thoughts were on a present, we would much prefer the cash,
With all the pennies combined,
A ******* is what we have in mind.
But the choice is really up to you and we would just like to say.
That we look forward to seeing you, there on our special day.
More than kisses so far we’ve shared
Our home has been made with love and care
Most things we need we’ve already got
Like a toaster and kettle, pans and pots
A Wishing Well we thought would be great
But only if you wish to participate
A gift of money is placed in the well
Then make a wish...but do not tell
Once we’ve replaced the old with the new
We can look back and say it was thanks to you!
And in return for your kindness we’re sure
That one day soon, you’ll get what you wished for!
As we’re getting married we thought it would be fun,
To move into a brand new home — we need to get it done.
As wedding gifts are bulky and we’re a little short on space,
Some money would be the ideal gift to help us buy our place!
Help Towards Your Honeymoon
If asking for cold hard cash is uncomfortable, how about asking for a contribution towards a holiday of a lifetime? We had the most wonderful three weeks in Vegas, LA and Hawaii... our next holiday after that was Weston-Super-Mare! Now, that's not to discredit the popular Somerset location, but we can highly recommend asking for help towards making memories to last a lifetime!
Very soon we’ll be saying ‘I Do’,
And for a gift if you’ve not got a clue,
We’d really love to ask for some cash,
So that on our honeymoon we can splash,
Out on a romantic trip for two!
We haven’t got a wedding list,
The reason we’ll explain,
It’s to save you all the hassle,
As shopping is a pain.
We’ve lived together for quite a while,
And all our bills are paid,
We’ve got our plates, pots and pans,
Our plans have all been made.
We would love a little help though,
To send us on our way,
And allow us to have our honeymoon,
In a country far away.
So if you’d like to give a gift,
To help us celebrate,
Some money towards our honeymoon,
We’d really appreciate
The date has been set and we’d love you to come,
To our wedding in (place name), a long way for some,
All you must do, is decide what to wear,
Then polish your jewellery and comb up your hair.
Don’t worry about gifts, don’t buy us a yacht,
The things that we need, we’ve already got.
Our home is quite compact, we may have to move
Then our storage and space will surely improve.
Don’t go out shopping or get yourself stressed,
Don’t alter your plans for a pre wedding rest.
If you want to be generous, despite what we’ve said,
Then save all the hassle and do this instead…..
Don’t know how to word this but will give it our best shot..
Contributions are most welcome, we’ll go somewhere hot!
A honeymoon would be marvelous, to start off our life,
In our long winding journey, as new husband and wife!
We are sending out this invitation
In hope you’ll join our celebration
But if a gift is your intention
We’ll take this opportunity to mention
We have already got a kettle and toaster
Crockery, dinner mats, and matching coasters
So rather than something we have already got
We would appreciate money for our honeymoon pot
But most importantly we request
That you come to our wedding as our special guest
As we’ve lived together for a year or two,
We really don’t need anything new.
But if you were thinking of a small wedding gift,
Some money for our honeymoon would not go amiss.
The occasion of our marriage
Is a precious time to share
With family friends and loved ones
So we hope that you’ll be there
We do not ask you bring a gift
But if you feel the need
A little bit of money
Would be very kind indeed
Please don’t feel obliged though
Please don’t feel you must
Just the pleasure of your company
Would mean the world to us
Leave it to Your Guests
If asking for any kind of monetary contribution is still making you cringe, let your guests know that you're leaving it up to them to surprise you with a gift of your choice.
If you were thinking of giving a gift,
to help us on our way.
A gift of cash towards our house,
would really make our day.
However, if you prefer to purchase a gift,
feel free to surprise us in your own way
Traditional Gift List
Some people still do opt for a traditional gift list with John Lewis being the department store of choice. They provide you with blank little cards to enclose with your invitation, but that means writing the number out countless times! We can include all the wording needed on your information card and print it with the gift list number as well. Prezola is another popular place to house a list of gifts.
We really don’t desire a gift,
but if you do insist,
there are some things that we would like,
we’ve put them on a list.
GIFT LIST NO:
No Gifts Required
To conclude, we did promise you a little ditty to tell your guests you don't want anything. If you really don't want any gifts at all, we'd still still advise considering including a note to that effect on your information card, just so that you don't invite endless questions from your guests.
We do not wish for presents,we hope you do not mind,
We haven’t got a gift list,there’s nothing we could find.
Your presence at our wedding,will give our day a lift,
Your company is priceless,we accept it as our gift.